Sleepy King

King: I'm sleepy.. maybe its the lighting in here.

Gabe: here, I'll change the music for you..

[Gabe puts on "A baby changes everything, by Faith Hill"]

Talented Fruit

King: You just copy and paste stuff! A watermelon could do your job!

Cleaning

King: Why is this quickcam hooked up to the monitor, but the monitor isn't plugged into the system, it doesn't make any sen...

Al: Too much thinky! Not enough cleany!

Al, the Asian

King: Everyone I know has the same glasses now.

Al: So those are like the 'Asian glasses' then?

King: Yep.

Al: Actually, I have a pair of those glasses too.

King: You must be Asian!

Al: Yes. Secretly. You know, like that song, Secret Asian Man.

The Sticky Stuff

King: I've just discovered hot glue is pretty damn hot.

Epiphany

King: You know what I just realized? Facebook is pretty stupid.

Clever Plan

King: I have WD-40 and a mango on my desk.

Al: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Pulse

Al: Hey baby, guess who's got a pulse... oh yeah, this guy.

Allergies

Al: I happen to enjoy sneezing like a bitch.

Grammar

Gabe: You guys are gonna hafta help me with grammar.

King: Grammar as in English? Or grammar as in your mom's mom?

Friends

King: The only reason to befriend a Chinese person is so they can get you illegal turtles.

Caught Red Handed

Gabe: A bird in the palm is better than stopping the hard drive transfer.
Al: Dude, don't talk to me about palming birds.

What's that beeping?

[Sudden random beeping noise comes from one of the laptops]

Al: I think I just leveled up!

Arizona

King: Why would anyone go back to Louisiana after they've escaped?

Gabe: Because of that song... you know, (singing) Sweet home Alabama...

Al: But Alabama isn't in Louisiana.

King: That's like saying you can't escape Arizona because of that song -- Hotel California.

How could we not?

Al: We were all thinking it.

From Out of Nowhere

Gabe: Why do I keep singing Viva Las Vegas?

Al: To be irritating?

Gabe: Whaaaaa?

Al: I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.

Mexicans

Gabe: I know Mexicans.

DO NOT TAP GLASS

Christie (giving a tour of the office): And this is where we keep the techstop people...

Strippers

(Discussing Gabe's new "Pulp Face" nickname)

Al: Well, there's strips of flesh hanging off your face.

Gabe: Are they hot?

Al: Yes. Very hot.

Chicken

Al: I've decided that the most honorable death a chicken can have is Buffalo Wings.

Monkey

Al: Habla a el mono, porque la cara no esta escuchando!

Gabe: Bob Dole... Bob Dole... Bob Dole...

Action

Gabe: You want action? Play Mortal Kombat.

Street Cred

Al (to Gabe): You're the one with millions of gigs of download cred... er, I mean street cred.

Grass

Gabe: It's really good. Especially if you eat the grass on top.

Al: [raised eyebrow] "uh, dude, that's mint."

Cake

Al: Live Moose Cake?!

The Moment

(Whilst explaining that the soundtrack to his life is by Def Leppard)

"Pour Some Sugar On Me pretty much encapsulates this moment right here, right now."
-- Al

Mac Office

King: "Where's the Mac Office?"
Al: "Cupertino."
King: "No, I meant the installation files."

Quotable

Gabe: All those quotes are old!

...what else can I say?

Treehouses

Gabe: Technically, ALL houses are treehouses.

Bacon

Of enough, there is never bacon. -- Al

Sugar Squid

Al: My world's just a sugar coated squid.